Thursday, October 9, 2008

Trials of dating part 3: What I miss and don't miss about relationships


What I like about being single.

#1 Checking in. I know you don't have to be a slave to your lover, but it is usually appreciated when you let them know when you're going on a trip ... going out all night with friends ... working late, that sort of thing. Right now I do what I want on a whim. I like that.

#2 Total control of the remote. If I feel like watching a lame Lifetime movie I can. If I want to flip between Family Guy and a Yankee game every 5 seconds there's no one to get annoyed. Or, I can just not flip and suffer through the commercials without a guy getting antsy. It's very liberating.

#3 Sleeping diagonally. Oh yes ... every square inch of that queen-sized bed is all mine. I can sleep on my head with my legs up against the wall if I want. I can make snow angels in the sheets. I can toss and turn like I'm doing the tango in my sleep. It's fantastic.

#4 Spending countless late night hours with my handsome guy friends. D., Chuckles and MacGyver are indispensable to my daily happiness. (Mostly because they are so handsome ... I don't consider attractive men "real people.") It is so difficult to find a guy who is secure enough not to be bothered by that.

#5 The "We" thing. Why is it so many people lose their identity when in a relationship? You become this package deal ... like back in elementary school when those stupid "best friend" little girls had to be picked together to play kickball. I need to have my own life and activities ... something that stays "just for me."

What I miss about having someone (this may get corny)

#1 Bed warmer. I miss waking up on a cold winter morning to arms pulling me into a warm embrace. You don't even realize how chilly you were until you feel his body heat against your back.

#2 Soothe sayer. That one specific voice you NEED to hear after a really bad day. That single person that knows just what to say to make you smile ... or make you want to scream.

#3 Motivator. I have had a couple great boyfriends who would get on my case if I slacked on my goals ... be it a personal art project or just going to the gym. Sometimes I really need a kick in the butt ...

#4 Peace. No one tries to set you up when you're seeing someone or harasses you about why you're not dating. Your parents get off your case for a bit ... that's nice.

#5 Sex. As in meaningful physical intimacy on a regular basis. That is also nice.

8 comments:

thecodemachine said...

You forgot the LOOMING FEELING OF NEEDING TO GET MARRIED. Perpetuated by your family and your friends.

Sten said...

Nope - never had that problem. I mentioned the family harassment, which is EXTREMELY annoying. But I don't feel a NEED to get married. I would welcome the idea if I was with someone I felt that strongly about, but it hasn't happened yet. I have always felt it is better to never marry than go through a horrid divorce.

Anonymous said...

"#3 Sleeping diagonally. Oh yes ... every square inch of that queen-sized bed is all mine. I can sleep on my head with my legs up against the wall if I want. I can make snow angels in the sheets. I can toss and turn like I'm doing the tango in my sleep. It's fantastic."

Why is it that ALL women do this? My fiancee's excuse is that the cat sleeps at the foot of our bed and thus, she needs to put her feet on my side of the bed. That's all well and good, but even before the cat, or when we are away on vacation, she insists on sleeping diagonally. I've decided that this phenomenon is the true reason why king-sized beds were invented.

Sten said...

Women are selfish demanding creatures unable to truly hide their nature ... especially when asleep.

Chrissie said...

i also sleep diagonally and it will be forever one of the things i MISS DEARLY about being single!!!

snuggling BEFORE bed is nice. waking up to the arm-bar at 3 a.m. ??? not so much.

Sten said...

Agreed. I don't mind some snuggling before sleep and then when you wake up, but as when we're awake, some personal space throughout the night is necessary.

Yuki said...

I've never had the diagonal sleeping problem. Rather, I curl up when I sleep...meaning that I could sleep in half-a-twin bed (a quadruplet?) with ease and comfort.

And I sleep deeply through the night.

I guess I'm every man's dream-bed-mate.

Sten said...

That might depend on how you move around in bed when you're both awake ::wink wink::