Tuesday, November 18, 2008
It's all in the wing men
If you're out on the prowl, choose your companions wisely. Even Chuckles, who's legendary mack is off its legendary hook, has to agree.
Who you are out with can impact your behavior. Some one who is very outgoing may make you take a step back (if you're an insecure wuss), or it could make you step up and keep up (if you have a competitive streak). Friends who are obnoxious or sleezy might make you seem less attractive just by association. (I know. "Life is so unfair," and "why are we judged by our friends." Get a tissue and get over it.)
MacGyver unfortunately has learned the hard way that certain friends can be mack blockers. He was recently galavanting around town with some one who's creepiness exceeded Mac's own magnetism, making it difficult to be a hit with the ladies. When out with a wing man, you kinda become a package deal. If one is intolerable, the chick might not stick around for the sake of the other. Too many cute butts in tight pants and too little time.
Beyond the wing man, there are perils with being out with a group. According to MacGyver, the ideal scenario for a guy is to be out with two female friends. Can't just be one ... then you look like a couple. With two, he'll look like a hottie who's sensitive and approachable. awwww.
This doesn't work so well for chicks. If a babe is out with a bunch of guy friends, one would think she's screwing at least one of them, and even if they don't, it's too intimidating to break her away from that army of testosterone. Not with 300 Spartans would they attempt it.
Most of my closest friends are guys. When I am out with them I NEVER get hit on. Chuckles said it's because I'm butt ugly ... however, everyone knows how grateful Quasimodos are, so I don't see why that would be a deterrent.
Anyway, here are some booty hunting companions to stay away from:
- Close talkers
- Nose pickers
- Poor hygiene practicers
- People who start EVERY sentence with "I"
- Booty pinchers/smackers
- Some one who's dated EVERY guy/girl in a 30 mile radius of where you live
- Girls that end every sentence as if it's a question (personal pet peeve)
- 10 people of the opposite sex
- Only 1 person of the opposite sex
- Talking mimes (another personal pet peeve)
Let me know if I've missed any...