Monday, November 24, 2008
Rules of Distraction
There are certain moments in a relationship, where you feel so comfortable with your significant other that you think you're allowed to tell them EVERYTHING.
And while I'll never advocate out and out lying to your loved one, there are some things you should keep to yourself and instead distract your partner with more virtuous topics: like puppies and kittens.
So if HE/SHE asks _________________, then answer with this _________________.
QUESTION: How many sexual partners have you had?
ANSWER: "Only one that matters!" Followed by kissing, lots and lots of kissing.
QUESTION: Do you think kissing is cheating?
ANSWER: "Of course!" Never, ever, ever say "What kind of kissing are you talking about?"
QUESTION: How do you know that guy?
ANSWER: "We had class together a few years ago." Never, ever say, "I hooked up with him once."
QUESTION: Have you ever had a one night stand?
ANSWER: "Ewww! Gross! Why would you ask me that!?! Have YOU?" He'll be too wrapped up in creating an appropriate answer that he'll forget you DIDN'T have one of your own.
What questions have you avoided by using the rules of distraction?