Monday, December 1, 2008


Many people believe that old saying "once a cheat, always a cheat."

But I have to wonder whether or not cheating ways can be the result of specific circumstances unique to a particular partnership.

Isn't it possible that he/she cheated because his/her partner just wasn't "the one?"

And better yet, can't people make mistakes and then learn from them?


Anonymous said...

Isn't it possible that he/she cheated because his/her partner just wasn't "the one?"

Is it also possible that the cheater is a coward and decides that screwing around is much easier than telling their partner, "Hey this isn't working out, sorry." And that cowardly behavior could be repeated.

Chrissie said...

Well said anon... the latter is possible.

For the record, I wasn't saying that there are excuses for cheating... I was simply opening up the topic for discussion.

Sten said...

I think that if some one cheats, then gets away with it they are more likely to repeat. It is possible, I think, that if you cheat and then lose someone you really love due to the infidelity, you might be smarter next time.
Personally I am incredibly UNFORGIVING. Lying and cheating is simply unacceptable.

So is faking orgasms. I hate when guys do that.

Jared said...

2 things (maybe I'm cynical here):

1. There's no valid excuse for cheating in a relationship because you could have always just ended the relationship pre-cheating and went about your business. Marriage is a little different because booting your wife and kids out the door isn't so simple.

2. People, IMO, generally suck at learning anything from their past mistakes. If anything they learn to avoid the negative consequences that follow, not the pain they cause others.

With that said, I do think that there are people who cheated that wouldn't do it again. But life is a lot easier if you have zero tolerance for things like this and assume that no one ever changes, because they don't for the most part.

Yuki said...

I think people can change...but not something like that. Cheating says that the person doesn't respect you or the relationship enough to keep their pants on. And usually, someone like that isn't going to care enough to change, no matter what they say, especially if you take them back...because that's telling them that "It's okay, you can get away with it."

I laid out the rules at the beginning of my relationship - Don't cheat, don't lie, and don't think you can get away with being a jerk. In return, you'll get one of the most caring people on this planet. If you screw up...well, I did warn you.

Mohawk said...

we as humans tend to act irrational in situations in which we arent ready. cheating really has no excuse, but it does happen for a reason. the psychology of cheating can be a manifestation of many things, but ultimately comes down to the satisfaction of a selfish desire... to have a secure relationship while fulfilling their urges for the new chase.

heres the thing, once that urge for a new chase is fulfilled the certainty of the previous relationship is then compromised causing a self destruction of its value. in short it fucks things up and never lasts for either party.

i think everyone has the capability to learn and change, but human ignorance has proven in the past to be a very powerful addiction. i think that the fact that there are cheaters makes the risk i take in my leaps that much more meaningful.

utopia cannot exist without some semblance of evil somewhere...

mohawk said...

i wrote capability and meant capacity

my mistake