Monday, December 29, 2008

Hell hath no fury

Like a woman with an internet connection.

I’ve often said that social networking sites bring people together on a “superficial” level, but prevent real-life relationships from prospering.

That was until I found this web site:

Don't Date Him Girl.

It is an online world for women to “exchange information” and to make friends with one another based on how many jerks they know.

A place for women to bad mouth their exes in an open forum, including adding pictures and real-life stories about how they were scorned.

Like this post... (which includes a picture)

Josh C*#p is not practicing safe sex. Besides the FOUR girlfriends, we also know of FIVE other women who slept with him over the summer and were apparently just flings and he wasn't using protection with them. We're sure there are even more women that he's slept with, but at this point, the numbers are so crazy that we would prefer not to find out about anymore (it makes us sick to our stomaches). Watch out for all of his signs (his phone is ALWAYS on silent. he always takes his phone when he leaves the room (to call one of the many girls) and when a woman calls he will tell you it's one of the girls on the team or his mom..

After reading a few entries I have to figure out if these men the victims here?

Having their faces and these unflattering stories posted online can't be great for their dating lives and I can't help but consider that every relationship is made up of (at least;) 2 people. 2 sets of problems. 2 stories.

And so I wonder...

Do both sides need to be heard before women everywhere are warned? Or should a gal just appreciate the extra information in the real-world of dating?


Sten said...

Is it wrong that I'd be flattered if I was on a "Don't date her" site?

I think some men REALLY need to come with warning labels. Especially the unprotected sex with multiple partners. That's just not very safe or healthy.

I climb into bed disease free, and want to leave the same way.

doodie said...

I have seen male friends of friends lie to females, manipulate females, do anything to go to bed with females. It makes me cringe when I witness a nice woman becoming a victim. So, yeah, I'm all for public labeling.

But do I think that we women would proceed with caution if we knew all the dirty deeds men have done before us? That's the real question. I'd say a dirty dog label is as effective as posting do not poop signs on your property.

Mohawk said...

the fun part of opening a present is the chance that it may be the worst present youve ever seen. dating is the same way, you are slowly opening a gift. you learn a lot about yourself in the process. sure noone wants to waste time, but is it really a waste?

I understand the label for unprotected sex aspect, then again... i always use condoms and so should you. I also inspect the garden before planting my tree, (a sapling is still a tree). I also use my judgment, and i dont ask things that would have obvious answers.

get a feel for the kind of person they are by talking to them. find out what theyre capable of. in the end, the only thing we have is our experiences. the people who have the best stories are the ones who lived knowing good and bad. life is not easy, then again neither is chess.

Yuki said...

Playing the Devil's advocate here - while I really don't think it's such a bad thing to be warned about partners like Johnnie there, but...

Shouldn't it fall onto the girl to not just jump in bed with any man who happens to talk to her at the bar? Maybe it's just me, since I'm a very monogamous person, but still, while the men have the responsibility to go to bed protected, us ladies should be calling up the professionals to check out the trees.

Chrissie said...

I enjoyed the sapling comment;) Hehe!

Yuki, I agree that people shouldn't "rush into things," but I don't think that where these people met was evident in the post, and this man I used as an example was involved in multiple relationships.

I don't think we can hold our "one-night stands" to the same standards as the people we call our significant others/boyfriends/girlfriends.

And so yes, we should proceed with caution but I don't think that dating a player always means a gal "rushed into things."

I think it simply means that she found a dud.

(and for the record, i met my man in a bar and my best gal friend met her husband-to-be in one as well;)

but I also enjoyed the comment from Mohawk about wasting time, I don't think bad relationships are a waste at all, even though they might seem so at the time. Like you said, we learn A LOT about ourselves through the hard stuff, so in the end it is worth it.

Anonymous said...

the irony is that being so publicly and so contemptuously labeled as a "bad guy" probably makes these guys even more attractive to women.

it's like that seinfeld episode where elaine was so intrigued by her date after she learned he was a "bad breaker-upper" -- so bad that he inspired his exes to physically assault him with hot coffee or whatever weapon was nearby whenever they saw him.

of course, the lesson learned at the end of that parable was that elaine turned out to be no different -- she ended up stabbing him in the forehead with a fork.

Lindsay said...

It didn't take me long to find my ex on this site... And to the poor girl who posted it, "I could've told you so." If only someone had told ME so, too. There are some things that our rude, crude guys have done in their past relationships that they aren't too proud of, but also won't repeat. If we were going to judge every dude by the way he treated his last girl, we'd never date any of 'em. But had I seen my ex's worst habits posted on this site prior to our first date, I still may have gone out with him - Once. Then I would've seen the red flags that were frantically blowing in the hot air that he spewed, & gotten out immediately. It's easy to ignore a guy's bad side, but a little less easy to ignore it when we've already been warned.