Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Waiting for marriage


I've heard of waiting til you're married to have sex ... but who would wait to even get a kiss?

A loyal reader sent along a FASCINATING article about a couple who had their first ever smooch at the altar.

Afterwards the bride referred to their lip-locking as "magical." No poo, sweetheart. Any ass at this point is going to seem fantastic ... you poor poor repressed puritanical girl, you.
I hope her guy practiced on melons at least.

I don't even think waiting to have sex is a good idea. Not everyone is compatible. We all have different needs. Some people are very vanilla and others require a three-ring circus to get off.
I know a guy that can't perform without mumbling "I think I can I think I can" over and over again. Imagine finding THAT out on your wedding night.

...Speaking of wedding nights ... what if you never have one? I'd rather die a slutty old maid than an engaged virgin. No contest.

11 comments:

Creepgyver said...

Waiting until marriage IS too long. I prefer to get them in middle school.

Chrissie said...

i have trouble believing the two in this article weren't just friends without benefits who decided to get married "because it was the right time."

how could you date someone you were in love with for years and not kiss them??? how could you know if you were sexually attracted to someone?!

help me understand this.

Sten said...

I wonder if it was their first kiss together, or EVER.

Maybe one of them has herpes and didn't want to spread it unless they we're going to be together for ever.

E said...

they said in the article that they were never alone! Ever. before they got married.
I can't imagine being able to get to know who some one really is under those conditions.

aka the Ralph Man said...

Never heard the term very vanilla before...

They should have saved themselves for marriage and then "done it" on the alter.

Mohawk said...

these are probably the same type of people who have anal sex to preserve their virginity...

religious ideals are very powerful...

honestly im upset that there are groups of people who perpetuate this bullshit, not that people got sucked in by it. if they can make it work (and be happpy), then props to them.

of course if they do make it work and are happy then those groups of people will use them as an example to further propagate their retarded (no offense to your mentally handicapped readers)ideals.

extremes' will always exist, like this couple. i take comfort that there is a counter couple to this out there, who had an orgy with their entire group of friends on the first date and there isnt a spot that they dont kiss... and are now happily unmarried.

Jared said...

"He found other ways to show LaLuz his passion—like by cleaning her car. And washing the dishes."

Sounds like a sweet deal, guy! You get neither the cow nor the milk, yet you still pay for both.

Yuki said...

That's...just a bad idea.

I mean, seriously, I can't see having your first-ever kiss at the altar be a good thing. I've had an acquaintance/classmate say she's going to do that (no, she didn't read the article), which is great for her...but am I the only female here that's heard horror stories about slobber-mouths and mouth-rapists?

Anyway.

Being (probably) the youngest reader here, I'm definitely waiting for, you know, legal adulthood at least before jumping my boyfriend's bones. I'd prefer to wait 'til marriage, since I know him well enough that I'm not really scared about my future sex life, but that's all of about six years...

...And I'm definitely no repressed puritan.

Wraith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wraith said...

three ring circus indeed! who would need elephants ... clowns ... and a small home-made trapeze to get off? certainly not me! seriously, who have you been talking to?

P.S. "Creepgyver?" fantastic stuff

sunshine said...

"I've heard of waiting til you're married to have sex ... but who would wait to even get a kiss?"

just imagine the people who wait to meet their spouse until the wedding