Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Chrissie's last post really took me down a pothole-ridden memory lane.
I was warned about a guy once.
We had gone out a couple times and when I mentioned it to a friend of mine, she looked down at the table, then up at me and said, "He's a jerk."
"Really? ... He's been nothing but sweet ...," I say, a bit dubious. This one had really pursued me, and honestly, the quickest way to my cold vain heart is through my ego.
Apparently she had gone out with him a couple times the year before and he was something of a panty chaser. (An admirable pursuit if you ask me. Some panties put up a sporting fight.)
Anyway, she was really awesome. They had never been anything serious, so that wasn't an issue. She just told me to be careful.
So warning pushed to the back of my mind, I continued seeing him ... because at that point, I really didn't see how any guy could be a bigger jerk than me. I like to put tacks on a guy's driver seat to see him jump and smack his head on the roof. You learn a lot from a guy by seeing how he reacts to a little pain.
One night I was out at a bar and ran into my new beau. We were each there with friends, so there was a sweet hello then back to mingling. He found me later on and asked for a lift home ... bam-chicka-wam-bam.
We go back to his place, and do the whole kissy stuff. He started getting more aggressive, clearly wanting to have sex.
I hadn't slept with him yet, and wasn't really sure I wanted to. I'm no prude, I like to chase after a nice pair of boxers from time to time ... or briefs if I'm feeling frisky, but since "The Warning," I didn't want to jump in bed with the kid right away.
So I tell him that. And what does he say?
Wait for it.
"But I love you."
WHAT? REALLY? ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME?
I ask him "Um, does that actually ever work?"
He says "Uh, sometimes."
I let out an incredulous laughter fueled mostly by disgust. I picked up what clothing had made it's way to his floor, got dressed and walked out.
Later that week I found out the night I went home with this jock strap he had been on a date at that bar with another girl. Sweet.
Although, I kind felt bad for him. He started the night with 2 prospects for getting laid, and in the end, he only got laughed at.