Friday, January 23, 2009

One life

I sometimes wonder why we go to such great lengths to find the perfect mate only to ensure that in time they will become someone else.

We set up lists of our wants from a relationship and we focus on all those things we feel are most important.

We want someone who is independent, fun, smart, sexy.
Someone who can stand on their own two feet.
Someone who will free us from our parents' shadow and allow us to grow.

But then, as time goes on, we slowly change the people we once loved for their uniqueness into something more palatable. Something that suits our future rather than our past.

And so we rid ourselves of our parents' grasp only to turn our new-found lover into what we tried so hard to escape.

Find a passionate, sassy young woman and make her your wife.
Make her a mother. Your mother.
Become her number one and watch her life fall slowly away while you create a life together. One life.

Find a driven, independent young man and make him your husband.
Make him a father. Your father.
And quietly stand witness as he disappears and you're left only with the shadow of a man you once loved.

Instead of the passionate, unique person you found long ago...
Now you've created someone who fits into your life perfectly. A life.

One life.

Everyone's life.


Chrissie said...

this is perhaps an ill conceived post about our "ordinary lives." our time spent looking for a mate usually ends up similarly for everyone.

and maybe it's just today...

but for me, there is something oddly sad about that notion.

so much struggle to end up like everyone else.

Wraith said...

the truth of it makes me shudder.