Monday, January 5, 2009
How do couples avoid the shift from passionate advances to expected affection?
After enduring a handful of long-term relationships, I know there comes a time when kisses are warm and inviting but realistically lack the passion they held in their firsts... when hand holding becomes a means of getting across the street safely rather than a sweaty adolescent advance... and intimacy becomes just another "thing we do."
But while I'm no expert, I think there are a few surefire ways to reignite the passion when it tends to wane...
1. KEEP BUSY
Absence really DOES make the heart grow fonder, but that doesn't mean you need to plan a "girls only weekend" to the tropics (although that can help). I think simple things like making weekend plans with a friend or keeping those single-hobbies can add a bit of spice. Not only does it give you a moment to miss one another in your FREE TIME but it also gives you something to talk about.
2. REMOVE THE TELEVISION
TVs do not belong in the bedroom.
3. LOOK SINGLE
I'm not saying take off your engagement ring and flirt like there is no tomorrow... I mean that our hygiene shouldn't change just because we've found THE ONE. Keep wearing your cologne or perfume, take care of yourself as if you were still looking and you might find your partner never loses that initial passion.
4. BE APPRECIATIVE
Thank you goes a long way in romantic relationships... it shows that you're not taking one another for granted. So thank you... thank you for taking out the trash, making dinner, folding the laundry and making me that martini.
5. SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER
Daily life is not sexy. 9-5 doldrums and scooping the cat litter are not ideal examples of foreplay. So make time to s l o w d o w n and focus on each other rather than going through the motions emotionless.
Get me through my 9-5 doldrums with your ideas on how to keep things passionate once "the beginning" comes to its inevitable end.