Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Advice from the geriatric ward


Chrissie's blog on the 9-year- old's dating advice got me thinking ... what does a lifetime lived do to change your views on love and dating? All that experience and earned wisdom must certainly be priceless to us amateurs, right?

So I went out on a Google mission to collect dating advice from grannies. Here's what I found:

A man will never buy the cow if he gets the milk for free.
So only prudes find true love? I'd rather get laid.

You’re not getting any younger. You should settle down soon.
True ... I'm not getting younger, but I'm not in a nursing home yet, wrinkly McGee. You Bingo Tyrant.
"Settling down" just because you're getting older usually leads to "settling" in general. Why not just feel ageless as your lovers get younger? I bet that 9-year-old Cassanova will be pretty hot in 10 years.

The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
I thought it was through his rib cage.
That's it girls, new third date rule!! Say to him as he leans in for that hungry kiss "I'm not sleeping with you, but I'll make you a nice steak" ... he'll love it.

A good man is worth waiting for.
Now you're just contradicting yourself, you Viagra neutralizing crone!! How can you wait for a good man when you're not getting any younger?? You gotta settle down NOW ladies! Take the first one that likes steak!

1 comment:

Wraith said...

the world has become a different place since those platitudes were coined.
but why are we going to opposite end of the spectrum here? i propose a blog on romantic advice from the middle demographic. no not middle aged housewives. this isn't O magazine after all. i'm talking about the cougars out there. i would like to here from a voice of experience that's not as outdated.

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