Thursday, February 19, 2009
I can remember the harsh reality of waking up only to realize there were three of us in our bed.
Me. Him. And...
Like many, I knew how to compete with real-life threatening women.
You lose 10 lbs, lighten your hair, and act aloof.
But competing with a 12-inch galaxy only a google search away from the world's best bikini bodies was another story.
And so our modern 3-way took its toll on our relationship.
My body got skinnier but it was still no match for her touch-pad.
After all, she was easily rechargeable and offered hours of play for his idle hands while my on/off switch possessed more human qualities.
But it wasn't even that he was interested in something else that necessarily ruined us.
It was that our time was never quality time because he was always split between two worlds. Reality with me and entertainment with his other lover, the Internet.
Eventually, as his fingers became more calloused and I became more distant we decided to move on.
Me to a real-life man and he to what I assume is another love triangle between himself, a gal on his lap, and technology still at the top.
But like any woman scorned, the experience had a profound effect on how I entered into my next relationship.
I've decided that we will never, ever get a portable computer.
Because no matter how skinny or blond I get, I now know I'll never quite fit on his lap the way she does.