Thursday, February 19, 2009

Tech-NO Tryst

I can remember the harsh reality of waking up only to realize there were three of us in our bed.

Me. Him. And...

His laptop.

Like many, I knew how to compete with real-life threatening women.

You lose 10 lbs, lighten your hair, and act aloof.

But competing with a 12-inch galaxy only a google search away from the world's best bikini bodies was another story.

And so our modern 3-way took its toll on our relationship.

My body got skinnier but it was still no match for her touch-pad.
After all, she was easily rechargeable and offered hours of play for his idle hands while my on/off switch possessed more human qualities.

But it wasn't even that he was interested in something else that necessarily ruined us.

It was that our time was never quality time because he was always split between two worlds. Reality with me and entertainment with his other lover, the Internet.

Eventually, as his fingers became more calloused and I became more distant we decided to move on.

Me to a real-life man and he to what I assume is another love triangle between himself, a gal on his lap, and technology still at the top.

But like any woman scorned, the experience had a profound effect on how I entered into my next relationship.

You see...
I've decided that we will never, ever get a portable computer.

Because no matter how skinny or blond I get, I now know I'll never quite fit on his lap the way she does.


Chrissie said...

have you ever competed with technology for affection?

i'm sure i'm not the only one who sometimes finds themselves coming in second to the cell phone/ipod/laptop lure for the technology-addicted.

(or at least i hope not;)

Mohawk said...

stop being insecure, its not a competition. im sure women before the advent of major technology sat around while getting their hair done complaining how he just wont put that book down or how the radio is always on.

hell most men if they didnt have their little distractions would have nothing else to do but bother the shit out of you... to which you start complaining how they need a hobby. be careful what you wish for ladies.

a lot of this seems to be stemming from you living together or sleeping over in some capacity. the amount of "you" time is severely diminished. If you werent living together or spending all that time together he would be and has been doing exactly what he does now in front of you... screwing with technology.

the only thing that has changed is that he doesnt have his own separate time to do these things, you take offense because apparently when he is near you then you have to be the focus of his attention instead of him doing what he has always done.

my suggestion is instead of saying ridiculous things like "we're never getting a lap top", how about saying "how about when you need to use your *insert technology item here* why dont you go into *insert separate room here*" why do this? because it creates separate space and if he isnt next to you then you dont feel neglected. you can maybe do take that time to do something that you want to do...

I know when im doing homework (read dicking around on the internet) and squeaky is reading in her room, to take a break from the random shit im doing i go to her and vise versa. its the illusion of separate space that creates that longing to see the other person, not some imposed set of expectations.

i mean the easier solution is dump the current dude and date a stalker! he will always be there breathing heavily and if he uses the internet it will be to research you or photoshop his face into all your old pictures!

Chrissie said...

you made some good points mohawk, but to clarify:

these are past issues with an EX, not with the current beau in my life.

the "we're never getting a laptop" comment was said for a comical end to the blog post, as i'm on the hunt for an affordable laptop as we speak:)

i think your points about having "separate spaces" and that "he was just doing his own thing" and that it was "different" because we lived together" makes a lot of sense.

i think when we see someone day in and day out, our time with them becomes expected and we can't put our hobbies or life on hold because they are in need of affection.

however, i think there's a BALANCE when it comes to long term relationships where in spite of the fact you see one another and have other things to do, that you still have quality time together.

that doesn't mean that you "date a stalker" or expect someone to be at your beck and call always, it simply means that you don't check your email at the dinner table every night.

a good relationship is about balancing your "alone" time with your "couple" time.

but i don't think a person wanting to be heard or appreciated means they're "insecure" i think it means they are looking for someone who doesn't take them or their time for granted.

that being said, i don't think the scenario i spoke of solely relates to "romantic" relationships...

i'm sure there have been a few times where you were with someone who kept checking their cell phone, or who pretended to be listening while they were preoccupied with the television or their IPOD...

Sten said...

Having alone time is really important, and you shouldn't take it personally when your s/o takes it.

Technology CAN cause a rift in a relationship ... think of how guys feel about about certain electronic toys their girls have ... can't compete there bucko, can you?

Personally I like it when you can sit in a room with your boy, doing your own thing ... not necessarily interacting, but still together for a funny comment here and there or a wink from across the room.

One of the sweetest memories I have of my favorite ex was when one day I came home after a really rough day ... he was working on his computer and I just curled up in his lap and took a nap on his shoulder.
I felt comforted and he didn't have to stop what he was doing.

Dj Lady said...

personally, i am competing with his iPhone. it's not that bad now, but when we first started our "relationship" i was competing with the text messages and IMs other females would send him and he would have to check it while we were watching a movie, riding the train home from a wonderful day in the city, or at a romantic dinner. But still, that iphone goes everywhere we are, and it still rings in the middle of the night-- only he doesn't answer it now. so, I understand competing with technology, this wouldn't have happened years ago- when it was just and my man and no cell phones and text messages.

Anonymous said...

yikes! did someone need to vent, or what?