Friday, February 20, 2009

To adore or be adored?

Miss Piggy and Kermit.

One of the most well-know great romances of all time, it is sadly incredibly unbalanced. That pig gets her bacon in a bundle whenever her lily pad loving amphibian hops in the room ... but her somewhat aggressive devotion never seems mirrored in his wide plastic eyes.

(Cruel, Henson, cruel.)

Ideally, in a relationship the feelings are mutual and as close to equal as possible ... but in reality one always loves the other more.

So I wonder, is it better to be with someone that makes you feel like the luckiest sucker in the world ... like .... how is it that such a hot potato would find its way into your lap? (All the while knowing they don't feel quite as steamy about you.)

OR, is it better to be with someone who lights up like a trucker's high beam in your rear view window when you walk in the room. Some one who makes you feel like you're on a pedestal, so much so that you can't help but look down at them?


Wraith said...

well as you may or may not know, i'm not one for the latter. but i'm not good at showing the former either. capable of it, just too emotionally repressed to express it.

awesome picture.

Chrissie said...

i second the awesome picture comment sten! so cute.

and so... which is better?

they both have their perks obviously but they also come with their own complications.

if you're the one who feels "so lucky" and possibly "loves more," you run the risk of feeling inadequate and needy, which never makes for an awesome romance.

but if you're the one who loves less i have to wonder if you're ever truly happy... and if it's a constant struggle to determine if you're settling or not.

for me personally, i think i'd rather be the one who loves more, the "lucky" one so to speak. because that way, i'd never have second guess my romantic decisions.

Sten said...

It's really hard to smoke with the pig nose... but I can drink scotch through it, which is handy.

I have no desire to be on a pedestal ... being afraid of heights and all. But nothing pisses me off more than feeling unappreciated.

I had a conversation about this with D. and decided it is better to do the adoring, because feeling love ... having that precious desire filling your heart is so special and fulfilling.

chuckles said...

What's different about the picture? I looked at that pic for almost a minute, and I still don't get it-I mean, you always look like that don't you?

As with anything in a relationship, you gotta meet in the middle. Looking down on someone isn't good for a relationship, and looking up isn't good for the ego, it's just one of the billion things that have to be in sync for a relationship to work. Both roads lead to ruin.

Sten said...

I gave myself more pronounced eyelashes ... it's subtle, but I thought I needed a change.

And you're right, Chuck, people in a relationship have to meet in the middle, or it doesn't work. But I do believe that most couples have a tipped scale when it comes to their needs or feelings, and for the purpose of this post, you have to ask yourself, "which am I?" and "Is that what I want to be?"

Zee said...

Um, the obvious answer is BOTH. I am with Kari and she makes me feel incredible, like I'm the funniest and most thoughtful guy on the planet. At the same time, I can't believe how lucky I am to have such an amazing, loving, talented, progressive girlfriend. So I'd have to say that while it's nice to be obsessed over, and I have done some obsessing myself over women, if you don't have a two-way street of adoration your relationship is doomed to failure.

Zee said...

Oh, forgot to comment on your Kermit/Piggy reference. You tactfully leave out that Piggy REGULARLY BEATS KERMIT. They can barely get through a day with out a karate chop to the weird frog collar. Yet despite the abuse he stays with her, maybe out of devotion but probably because of guilt or fear.

Kind of sounds like my previous relationship!

Colin said...

I'm with chuckles on this one. You have to have balance in the relationship. Is it something that automatically will always come naturally? No, sometimes you have to work at achieving said balance, but I've been in a few relationships on each side of your question and it never works out well either way.

Oh, and Miss Piggy cheated on Kermit. Just go watch the "Keep Fishin'" video from Weezer.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy doing the adoring much more than being the one being adored. As soon as I realize that the scales have tipped so that my mister has become a doormat, I'm over the entire situation.

Zee said...

I love that Keep Fishing video- Piggy is King of Comedy-ing the drummer but Kermit obviously has something going on with Rivers Cuomo...

Sten said...

Anon - I think it is really sad if you are so insecure that once someone sees you as something to hold on to, you lose interest. Is it because you are so unworthy of affection that anyone who thinks different must be even worse than you?

Relationships should be about mutual happiness, not temporary amusement. And really ... how can anyone love you when you don't first love yourself?

Z- I'll have to check out this video now ... I don't like what you've been saying about Miss Piggy here.