Monday, February 2, 2009

Traveling in pairs

Is a vacation really a vacation if you go with someone you're dating?

Is it less special if you go without your lover?

I think it all depends on what day of the week it is.

I just got back from Belizian paradise – a week-long vacation with 7 good friends – 8 of us total (4 boys, 4 girls), with a healthy mix of relationship statuses. Two "couples," two people dating another not on the trip, and two singles. Basically a huge missed opportunity for an 8-way orgy.

Staring at this motley crew at the airport, I couldn't help wondering who was in for the best time - those there with their flames, or those without? (And how the hell were the sleeping arrangements going to pan out?)

There are those great romantic views - the night sky filled with more stars than I'd ever seen in my life ... the multi-colored coral reefs bustling with life as we snorkeled by ... the kitchen filled with enough booze to drown all our winter frowns ... the kind of things that you want to experience with a lover.

But then, there's day after day of sharing a room and a little strip of beach. The feeling of responsibility that your sweetheart has a good time ... making decisions in pairs that don't necessarily make either of you happy ...

There's something to be said for getting out of bed when YOU want. Eating what YOU want to eat for breakfast ... for stealing hours of uninterrupted solitude on the beach ...

At the same time, isn't it nice to have those familiar hands rub the sunscreen in where you missed it ... some one to cuddle up against when you're soaking wet in a speedboat, shivering in the wind ... or to have that precious stolen solitude interrupted with an even more precious wet kiss?

I know I had an amazing time and would fly back in a second. But could it have been better?


Wraith said...

well said

Yuki said...

How would an eight-way orgy work, anyway? It gets far too confusing after the fifth person.


Having gone on vacations both alone and with friends (haven't taken my s/o yet), I have to say that I prefer friends. I'm already a pretty solitary person, but that solitude is best spent alone...without a few hundred tourists. For example, I've gone to Cancun many, many times (never been to a bar there, though, since I'm underage xD) and there's just something intensely satisfying about being able to share a room with your best girl friends and talk about the days events and crushes and stuff without your parents, to show them awesome stuff, to just hang out.

Plus, it's helpful when you've gotten your shoulders burnt a nice bright red and you can't reach that one spot...

Chrissie said...

if it's a big group of people it's best to be single i think, it gets too convoluted when the couples think they deserve the best beds and you can't tell if they want you to tag along with them at dinner or not...

unless of course, you're the ONLY single... that's a different story;)

Colin said...

To piggy-back on Chrissie's comment, I think it also depends on the make-up of the group. As she said, if it's a group full of pairs and you're the only single, it can get a bit awkward leaving you to feel like a 5th wheel.

I tend to try and plan my outings depending on who will be there. If it's a bunch of my guy friends going somewhere for the weekend (skiing, camping, trips to NYC or Boston) then I go it alone and have a good time while being respectful of my fiancee's wishes. If it's a group of couples, like our married and engaged friends, then we do the whole couples thing.

I've found that mixed-groups tend to make my single friends feel left out if they're in the minority, or for my fiancee or myself to feel left out if couples are in the minority.

captcha: unofan

sarah said...

I think that it's great to get away with the girls once in awhile. there's something sacred about people you can act stupid around, who get you, and who might even partake in a mani/pedi w/ you. I tend to laugh a lot on these outings.

on the other hand, it's fabulous to escape the mundane reality of 9-5 with someone you are so passionate about that you can't stop kissing him/her in the car on the way to your destination. I tend to feel so in love with my man on these trips.

And finally, who can forget the group vacations, which are full of card games and booze. I tend to need a vacation from a vacation after one of these adventures.

Mohawk said...

Speaking for my half of a couple i would have to say i had a blast. Then again squeaky and i are never up each others asses looking for polyps... I think youre kind of describing a needy relationship in the way that theyre afraid to be themselves and thusly think about their self.

i do think the people who cant go away together and maintain alone time and boundaries should work on those insecurities. Of course i could be wrong and everyone could have hated traveling with couples haha