Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Is timing everything?
Has anyone ever said to you "I really like you but the timing isn't right." Then proceed to list circumstances of their life that make it "impossible" for you to date?
Like if they say "My job is really demanding ... I don't have time for a relationship" what they're really saying is "I don't WANT to make time for you."
"I just got out of a relationship, I'm not ready to commit" really means they're still looking for something better.
"I love you, but I'm moving to Yemen, and I think the distance is too much" means they are most likely gay and have every episode of 'Friends' memorized.
I've told guys stupid crap like "I'm not interested in dating, I'm going through an asexual phase" which meant "I'm not attracted to you." And, "I need to stop seeing you and make more time for my art." Which is a big smelly load that actually meant, "you aren't doing anything wrong, but I don't have feelings for you anymore."
One time, because nothing else had worked, I told a guy that we had to end it or a giant panda bear would fall from the sky and reak havok on Poughkeepsie ... which translated to, "I would rather be taken away in a straight jacket than have to spend another second with you."
It's hard to tell someone that you aren't interested ... especially when it's "not interested ANYMORE." You blunder around the truth trying not to hurt people anymore than you have to.
So, I think the "time wasn't right rationale is all bullcrap. It isn't about timing - it's about whether or not you care enough about someone to make it work. Where there is true affection, there is a way.