Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Making up is hard to do.

Few will deny that we spend a lot of time discussing how to get over a BREAK UP when things don't work out with our relationships. We know we can rely on our friends for support and we feed ourselves ice cream by the pint and buy wine by the gallon to recover.

But how's a gal supposed to deal with a MAKE UP?

After weeks of fear and hate mongering, it's hard to tell the world that you actually "Loved him that whole time" and that your rants and raves were out of pain, but not necessarily indicative of the entire life you'd built together.

And so where's the book that shows the most dignified way to tell your friends you're "Sticking it out" in spite of your differences???

Where's the advice columnist saying, "Congratulations for placing value in your relationship, here's the way to get past what's happened and move forward while staying together."???

I can't help but wonder that if we had people in our lives who truly wanted to see us happy, that they would remind us of the good times when we're going through a bad moment in our romantic relationship. That instead of getting our "back" while we complain about the hard times that they quietly remind us that there is good there too.

But maybe that's not so much our friends faults as it is our own.

Because instead of bragging to the world that things are "great" we're afraid to gloat. Misery loves company after all, and so we never call upon it during the good times, only the bad.

We keep those precious moments to ourselves and still somehow expect the people in our lives to tell us what we want to here in a crisis.

But if all we're giving them are the bad moments, how can we expect good advice?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think women need to rethink the whole advice giving thing, me included. Lately I've come to realize that when someone tells me about their relationship problems, it's not my place to give them advice or even judge their decision making skills. My roll, as a friend, is to listen, to comfort and keep my opinions silent until they are sincerely requested.