Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I'm a text machine

I'm a texter.

I actually get a little annoyed when I text someone a question, then they have the NERVE to phone me with a reply.

I'm awkward on the phone. I hate leaving voice mails. As soon as I say "hi" I immediately sound like a tool. And not a cool tool like a jackhammer ... more like the little allen wrench that comes with your Ikea bookcase. You know — the one you lose immediately after assembly.

I like face-to-face conversations, don't get me wrong. I even muster up the occasional interesting contribution. And, then there are the far off friends that check in every now and again ... which is appreciated ... unlike the crook in my neck that sets in halfway through the chat.

My boyfriend doesn't have texting on his phone. Not just, "he hates texting" ... which he does, calling it, and I quote "the constant abbreviation and degradation of the English language ... I hate that it is being bastardized for convenience."
(To which I replied "I happen to like both bastards and convenience.")
... but his phone plan won't allow him to receive or send them. So ... if I want to say "Hi, Toughguy" ... or, "I'll meet you in 20 minutes" ... or "we're out of scotch"... I have to CALL him. And have a conversation. EVERY time.

Horrifying. And you know my voicemail messages are retarded. "Uh ... hi, this is Sten ... just calling to say I'm a allen wrench and we should hang out later so you can make fun of me for stating who I am, even though we see eachother every day and you know what my voice sounds like. Uhh... bye! Um call me back, uh if you want ... oh crap hell dammit." click.

Now, on the other hand, I do like that he calls me. I like hearing his voice on the phone in the middle of a bad day. I like that I even know what his "phone voice" sounds like. There is something nice about a man taking the time to pick up the phone and call you.
I just wish I didn't have to take the time ... all the time.


Amy said...

Call in response to a text? Who on earth would mix platforms like that? Appalling behavior!

mohawk said...

Well for me calling means urgent and texting means leisure. I like leaving voice mails though, i make them as long and awkward as possible. its like a game to me and if youre trying to act awkward then its ok if you sound that way. i would suggest making that your goal when the voicemail prompt comes up.

technically toughguy can text though, with his really large phone... the one that sits in his lap and runs on windows.

i propose we start speaking in text language in order to make toughguy and squeeky laugh. and by laugh i mean angry... very angry.

you can tell the hardcore texters by the type of phone they selected. screw blackberry (tiny keyboard), if it has a huge keyboard like the voyager and envy (spelling?) then you have a pro on your hands

i actually wish there was a full sized keyboard i could plug directly into my phone to make it easier to rofl and lol my way thru a conversation irl

Header said...

I'm a texter. A massive texter. And to make that even MORE appealing, I have a sense of humor that doesn't transfer through texting phone lines. I require voice inflections, sarcastic tones and sad music to play behind my date stories. But I still send out texts, knowing the recipient is going to have no idea if they should reply with an 'lol' or an "i'm so sorry to hear that."

And the above sentence? Not even my point. I just so happens I realized yesterday that I have a friend that I hang out with significantly less often lately simply because he doesn't text. I'm a mass texter. I text where and when I will be hanging out, so people can join. Or i post it on facebook. I don't call people. It's not how I roll. It's much easier to write 1 text, and send it to 9 folks who instantly know my geographic location.

I do make phone calls, but only when there isn't a solid plan for the day. The only thing MORE annoying to me than a long phone call, is a series of 20 text messages figuring out what you want to do that day.

Oh wait, there's one other thing I hate even more than ALL of these.
A text message conversation where a party is sending 3 SUPER LONG text messages in a row, cause she is maxing out the characters amount. If it takes 540 characters to say what you have to say, please, by all means call me.

Well I feel better. thanks for listening.

Sten said...

Good point - If it's going to take more than 30 seconds to send the text, you might as well call.

I think a call is a nice response when you haven't talked to the person in a while, Amy. I was talking about calling when I text something like "What time should I meet you..."

Toughguy said...

oh sure i get, "but i sent out a t- ... oh. you don't get texts." but honestly? i cannot contribute to this nonsense. i refuse.
i won't preach though. it's fine for others, not me.