Friday, May 15, 2009
Who is this whale and where is my girlfriend??
How do you tell your girlfriend she's getting fat? (Without making her want to kill you OR herself.)
Is there even a way?
I've had guy friends ask me this and there's never really been a good answer.
Suggestions I usually give that they should use:
Suggest you go to the gym together.
Plan to hike (or another fun active date) a couple times a week.
Cook healthy meals together.
Suggestions I want to give that they shouldn't use:
"Honey I miss your neck, could you get rid of a couple extra chins?"
"You have the arms of a jumbo jet, but you're not going anywhere!"
"Can I use your rolls to file my bills?"
No matter what you say, the person is going to be hurt and offended. Except... most of us are prone to gaining "comfort weight" when in a relationship. You got the prize, right? They'll love you no matter what, right?
Maybe, maybe not.
Maybe YOU won't be so happy with so much "extra you" rolling around in the shower, inadvertently cleaning the slippery tile walls with your spongy hull.
Don't drop the soap, Titanic ... you'll never be able to get back up.
I gotta tell you, I've stacked on at least 10 lbs. of "comfort" .... which is, in fact, more comfortable to sit on, but harder to lift off the couch. And before I have to use Andre the Giant's shoe horn to get me into my Toyota, maybe I need a kick in the gelatinous mass that is my money maker ....
Maybe it IS OK to let your lover know there's starting to be "more to love" ... for their own good. For their happiness and health. Not because you just got done drooling over the Olsen twins ... which really, only dogs drool over bones that have no meat (right before they bury them in the backyard) ... but because you love them, and think that they would want the push be heathly.
But try the first three suggestions first ... and of course, I'd love to hear some others ...