Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Biggest Person

After sharing an interesting story about a certain relationship that has soured my friend's response was one I get quite frequently.

She shook her head in disbelief and said, "You're a bigger person than me, I would have flipped out."

Ah, yes.
The bigger person.

I'm often labeled as such.
Not because I can do no wrong, but because I am quick to apologize if I feel I've done something inappropriate. Even if it is not something that would upset me, I can't help but say "I'm sorry you feel that way because of something I did" when other people are affected by my actions.

Being the bigger person includes accepting the faults of others and realizing we can't change the way they are.

In the end, she probably over reacted because she's a drama queen.
He probably said that because of his temper.
And maybe that person put their foot in their mouth due to ignorance, not malice.

Being the bigger person is about acknowledging how little we impact the personalities of others. There is nothing we can do or say to change their ways.

Sure, we can call them horrific names, point out their hypocrisy, or refuse to ever speak with them again... but in the end they are who they are.

And yet, I can't help but wonder where we can find balance in this sort of scenario.

A place where we can weigh in as the bigger person, while also defending ourselves.

Because it seems that the more times I am hurt, or wronged, or treated unjustly... the more I hear how "big" I am.

Regardless of how small I actually feel.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG i totally feel your pain. i always the "strong" one which translates as "i dump on you because you are the strongest person i know - no one else can take it."

or "you've helped me out so much i really owe you, or actually i'll just help someone else.. cuz your so strong you can go it alone."

or the best, "i'm not apologizing to her, she's so strong she'll be fine."

yes i'll be fine but UMM WHat? Yes, people have actually said these things to me.