Thursday, June 18, 2009


I always thought there were certain things that were unforgivable in a relationship.

Certain words that could not be taken back, certain actions that would never be forgotten.

Because there had to be specific boundaries for what was right and what was wrong, boundaries that once ignored would change things forever.

But lately I've been wondering if there is anything that is unforgivable, should you decide the person is worth it.

It's not really about how sorry they are or how unlikely it is to occur again but instead on how accepting you are of their faults. Of how unbelievably fragile human beings can be.

The more I know about other people, the more I begin to understand what motivates them.

When their bad mood is founded in insecurity.
When their anger is just a mask for their fear.
And when they just don't know what to do with the plethora of emotions inside of them.

But in the back of my mind I keep coming back to the idea that a person's reasons may not excuse their actions.

And I can't help but wonder if those things I once deemed unforgivable no longer are...

Or if I'm simply too exhausted from trying to understand to do anything about it.

What's unforgivable for you?

1 comment:

rob said...

we often excuse bad behavior by substituting weaker fallibilities (insecurity, fear) for offensive ones (mood, anger) as a means to defend the indefinsible, to rationalize unhappiness, and make disappointment more palatable.

but this is not forgiveness. this is rationalization. rationalization is how we trick ourselves into believing something we don't (like, for example, that we forgive someone when we really don't). rationalization is setting up a weak/insecure/fearful straw man, upon which it is easier for us to pin excuses, making it all easier to understand and accept.

personally i don't think there's any offense that is totally unforgivable.

but to really forgive is to really forgive. forgiveness exists without excuse, without resentment.

otherwise we're just temporarily pretending.

although "temporary" can last a lifetime.

it's all in the book.