Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Swarm theory

"A single ant or bee isn't smart, but their colonies are."


So let me get this straight... single isn't smart?

That idea explains a lot.

It explains why some women seem more eager to get married as they witness their friends coupled up and awaiting all eternity together.
It explains why we want what they have, regardless of whether or not we wanted it before.
And it also explains why my summer '09 can be summed up with two words.


I turned 27 and suddenly each and every weekend was spent either planning a bridal shower, purchasing a wedding gift, or drowning myself in martinis afterward.

Not to say I don't enjoy the idea of my close friends being so happy.
So smitten with someone that the word "forever" no longer makes them turn in fear, but instead makes them embrace it wholeheartedly.

But as the bows are taped tightly to a paper plate and then worn haphazardly upon their heads (because, you know... that's what women do at bridal showers) I couldn't help but stare at the shiny diamond on my left hand and wonder why.

Why we do it... now.
I don't question the validity of these unions, the love in their eyes is obvious, the romance of it all is sometimes enough for even me to tear up with emotion.

But, I also know we get married because that's what comes next.

And I can't help but wonder why...
Why we swarm to a life, so much like the others around us.
Why we're not "whole" until someone defines us that way with a shiny rock on our finger.
Why we're not happy... until our heads are adorned with taffeta and tissue paper... too heavy with generosity.

Tipping over from the weight of it all.
As reality sets in.
Our uniqueness cast in shades of white and ivory.


Chrissie said...

As a gal who sincerely enjoys bridal showers (and who hopes to have her own in the near future;) this post isn't meant to offend...

It's meant to make us question our motives, that's all.

To answer the question of why...

Why now?
Why not?

MAGS said...
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Chrissie said...

you know... i'd considered the pros and cons of being an older parent, but hadn't factored in the idea of not seeing your grandchildren.

i think the fact that we're having children later and getting married later in life is just more proof that we've strayed from the idea of a "strong family unit," it's not about extended family anymore... which can be sad in situations exactly like the one you describe mags.

MAGS said...
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Jared said...

We've got 50 years of medical science ahead of us, I plan on living to 100 no problem. By the time we're that old people will be complaining about not knowing their great-grandchildren.