Monday, November 30, 2009

Ten Things I've always THOUGHT

...But Never Actually SAID

1. I don't like striped sweaters or t-shirts on men.

2. I've spent my whole life 10 lbs shy of my ideal weight.

3. I'll probably never cut more than 6 inches off my super-long hair.

4. One bowl of cereal is usually just not enough.

5. I don't like facial hair, aside from a 5 o'clock shadow.

6. I force myself to sleep late on the weekends just because I can.

7. I think I'm better looking at "almost-30" than I was at "almost-20."

8. I don't miss a single thing about high school.

9. I finally understand why people "get married for the health benefits."

10. My biological clock has yet to begin ticking.

What has your inner monologue been saying lately that you've never shared?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

If it makes you happy

No one wants to know you're happy.

Seriously. They don't. They say they do, they feign interest in the oh-so-cute-and-romantic stories you share, but at the end of the day, your misery is more entertaining and your happiness less so.

Your migraines are more entertaining than your happy marriage.
And your minor car accident is more interesting than your brand new car will ever be.

So when things are going well, we may find ourselves keeping to ourselves more than we should. We make the effort by not discussing "that" topic, because... well... the happy stuff is boring.

A good story is moving, captivating, involves trial and error, misstep and misfortune.
And a happy ending is much easier to take, if it's preceded by a tumultuous plot.

As a result, we sometimes delve into the past too much, chatting with people we promised to ignore because they make things interesting. We retell painful moments from years ago because we've "come out of it unscathed" but all the while our reminiscing reopens a wound we'd hoped to have healed.

The storyteller in us wants some substance, something full of emotion, something bad that we can make good with words and hate mongering. We seek something to hold their attention, because our happiness only causes an uneasiness that our more painful moments never seem to.

But with each retold story, of heartbreak or sadness, we not only bring our audience down to a place where they can feel something, but ourselves as well.

Poisoning our present happy moments with reminders of the sad ones.

Giving up our contentment for camaraderie instead.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Growing up means shutting up

I haven't posted much on this blog for two reasons.

1. I'm very busy.
2. I'm afraid EVERY TOPIC I want to write about will end up ticking someone off.

I recently realized that the fact that I'm sensitive to the idea all of a sudden, doesn't say anything about my friends or family suddenly being less understanding or open minded.

It has to do with the fact that suddenly I'm more aware of how my words might upset them.

There was a time when I thought the word "crass" was a compliment.
When hearing people declare that "Chrissie will say whatever she wants without apology," was something that I could be proud of.

And maybe I'm just getting old... but suddenly, being crass isn't on my list of aspirations anymore.
And being sensitive is no longer a "weakness" but something I'm glad to feel from time to time.

So here's a post, minus the post, because if nothing else... I'm growing up.

What made YOU realize, you'd changed?