Tuesday, December 29, 2009

It's that time of year again...

They've already moved the slippers out of the store windows and have replaced them with sports bras and jogging suits. Where only days ago you were tempted by truffles and cookies coated in butter cream frosting, now you will be bombarded with the latest diet foods and Jillian Michael's manly face coaxing you to buy her latest DVD.

And, like any other year... I feel compelled to resolve... something.

But as I try to remember last year's resolution, or the years that came before, I feel less festive and more like a failure.

Because it seems that the only thing I can actually commit to is to be non-committal.

Here's all the resolutions that never were...

1. Lose 10 lbs
Um. Lost 8, gained 6, total weight loss: 2 lbs.

2. Drink 8 glasses of water everyday!
My days usually consist of 2 cups of coffee and 2 glasses of wine plus one or two sips of actual water at 2 am when the caffeine and alcohol begin to dehydrate me.

3. Go to the gym 3 times a week
I went, ONCE in 2009. Yep. Last January. They wanted to charge me 10 bucks because my debit card (with which I automatically pay them) was stolen after the 10th of the month. "All changes must be made before the 10th." But, it was STOLEN? Apparently, that doesn't matter. In order to show them who was boss, I've neglected my body in defiance.

4. Stop procrastinating
I started this blog post, LAST week, and am just finishing it now. Enough said.

5. Don't be so hard on yourself
Blogging about all the things I haven't accomplished in 2009 rather than the things I have, proves right here and now that I've failed at this one.

What do you resolve to NOT resolve this year?

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