Wednesday, January 6, 2010


It's not that difficult to find someone in their early to mid-twenties who claims that marriage is a farce and they plan to spend their lives as a bachelor or bachelorette.

You can usually trace their bitterness... I mean realism... back to one particular event.

Perhaps it's their parent's divorce or their breakup from whom they thought was the one.

Either way, they have reason to paint a negative portrait of a committed life and will likely laugh at your supposed happy relationship.

Just wait they say.
Just wait until you really know the person.

And yet... perhaps that's what we should be saying to them.

Just wait.
Just wait until someONE comes along and tests your boundaries.
Just wait until someONE says they want to be with you forever (and actually means it).
(However transient the meaning of forever ends up being, in the moment they say it, its definition is finite).

Because eventually our bitterness transforms into hypocrisy... whether we expect it to or not.

And where we once entertained our friends with our negative outlook on love, we suddenly bore them with our happiness instead.

Have you wavered on your previous views on marriage/relationships? And if so... what was the turning point?


cat1 said...

You might be right but you might also very well not be.

You can say it's only about that moment the person states their love and the relationship might not last and the feeling be fleeting, but that doesn't mean people need an INSTITUTION to validate their love for each other.

I don't think in your '20's if you are saying this that means you haven't found love. You might have really looked at how things work in the world and just be like... I'm not buying into that!

I'm in my '40's and don't think people need to be married.

I'd rather people take chances and go 'against' the tide. But that's me! :)

Chrissie Williams said...

i tend to agree with a lot of what you said cat1 !

my argument would be that i don't think people need an insitution to validate their love for one another.

i think people sometimes want to do everything in their power to prove their love to one another (and the world) for reasons that are completely their own.

maybe it's not about buying into something at all, but realizing "hey, i'm not satisfied with just saying 'i want to be with you forever,' i want this person to know i mean it." and what better way than to declare it everyday with a symbol on your ring finger?

i also don't think people "need" to be married, but i also think there comes a time when A LOT of people realize they WANT to be married in spite of what they used to think.

we could assume that most get married because it's expected or because they follow the herds... but what if we changed our more cynical (or realistic) views and considered the fact that there are perks to marriage that mean a lot to people? things like security and camaraderie, and family.

Chrissie Williams said...

(gah, institution... not whatever typo i had up there;)

uknowwho said...

chrissie you really need to read that "motorcycle maintenance" book... all this 'proving' going on... what page did you leave off at? 14?

you read and we'll discuss... between modestly spirited renditions of "love don't come easy" and "pour some sugar on me"


Chrissie Williams said...

hello YOU!

eh... i probably made it to page 32 at LEAST.

(and i KNEW that i shouldn't have said prove while i typed it;)

i do own the book however, and am up for discussion when it's finished (ASAP... who wrote this post? sarah?)?!?

"i need love, love... to ease my mind"...

V said...

I have to admit.. I'm a happy-crite. I was single and proud for about a decade before I met 'the one'. Now I've turned into one of those girls I made fun of before. I suppose one side will always hate/envy things from the other...

Singles always feel like the attached people are missing out and secretly jealous about certain things like: having someone to cudle with/wake up next to.

And taken people always feel like their single friends are missing out but seretly jealous about things as well.