Thursday, February 25, 2010

A time to settle

Is it better to be alone, or to settle?

That is the question answered by THIS woman and not in a way most would expect.

Rather than encourage women to hold out for their knight in shining armor, she suggests that they lower their expectations (notice, I did not say standards) in order to find Mr. Good-Enough.

It seems that our expectations for "only the best" sometimes leave us alone for longer than we'd like.

And while I once agreed, that a life alone would be better than a life with Mr. Almost-Soul-Mate, with each year that passes, I change my tune.

Not because I think I'm settling in my present relationship, but because I see the struggle that most single women go through on their never-ending search for "the one."

When their dates end in disaster, they either blame themselves or add yet another attribute to their list of "necessary qualities" in a mate.

While I wouldn't advise them to stay with a man they were repulsed or offended by, I think in time, they may come to realize, that being married and starting a family isn't exactly glamorous and most always far from perfect.

And if a woman wants these things in her future, she just might need to lower her height expectations when looking for a partner and open her mind a little more than her eyes.

Because the man she eventually chooses won't be just a mate, but a father as well.

And "passion and fire" aren't exactly qualities that scream, "stable and loving."

They tend to describe men who want more from life.

More fun. More experiences.

And maybe, more than one woman.

1 comment:

cat said...

Is marriage and family all that life is about so that women then do have to *feel* they must settle to "get" those things?

Isn't there more to life than those things and shouldn't we have some greater purpose to make some difference in the world vs. just replicating the same things that have gotten this world into the state it's in?

Just some thoughts. No, I do not think that women should settle but they should look at their own issues and what might be preventing them from meeting someone and whether their outlook is based on some outdated notion of themselves and men. And whether they can form a great life without those things. Not all of us are supposed to be cookie cutter versions of each other. I really think some of your ideas on things are a bit old school and need to be updated. This reads at times like Cosmopolitan or Glamour circa 1984 (and maybe today too - I don't read them).