Monday, March 29, 2010

Bar babes

Long ago I argued that you can't meet a nice guy in a bar and then I went off and got engaged to one.

Yes, they exist.
Nice guys... IN THE BAR.

Guys who understand why you didn't want them to pick you up at your house the first time you hung out, guys who promised "Not to wait 3 days," before they called, guys who laughed when you said, "Don't, I won't remember you in 3 days."

Good guys.

But, looking back, I realized there are a few rules that need to be followed if you hope to weed out the good from the bad and eventually take home the relationship prize from a bar instead of just an emotional hang over.

Things like...

1. Timing counts
This means, consider yourself Cinderella and leave that bar by midnight. Otherwise, you'll find yourself doing shots with the regulars while all the good guys have gone home to rest up before calling the girl they just met in the AM.

2. Inhibit your inhibitions
This means, keep your drinking to a minimum and your flirtation only to a maximum. After a glass of wine and a giggle you're doing fine, add a few shots and a slip on the dance floor, and you're a joke instead.

3. Trust your instincts
When your mind is telling you know (regardless of what the rest of you is doing) TRUST YOUR INTUITION! Our gut is our best friend when it comes to dating successfully, chances are if he seems slimy... he is.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Benefits and doubt

What do Sandra Bulluck, Elin Nordegren, your cousin, mother, and best friend have in common?

Oh! That's it! A cheating man!

Some argue that they can't help it, that it's in a man's nature to want to frolic in the grass with as many ladies as he can because he simply can't help himself.

And yet others now play the addiction card...

(Yes, David Duchovny, I mean you, oh and you Tiger Woods, and YOU former husband of Halle Barry).

They get caught cheating and instead of sleeping on the couch and begging for forgiveness, they say they're addicted, that it's a disease they need help for and they spend their sleepless nights at rehab instead.

And with months or years of therapy, they kick their habit, they recommit to their wives and claim they've healed.

But sometimes all it takes is a beautiful woman to make most of them relapse.

Just like an addict that can't enter the liquor store without salivating, t
hey're powerless in the face of a new partner...

But is there truth in the addictive powers of cheating?

Or are we giving these guys benefits where there once was only doubt?

Friday, March 12, 2010

Just friends

"Why do you still talk to that person?"

We hear it all the time, the question of why we still allow people who may have wronged us back into our lives, giving them a second (or sometimes third) chance at friendship.

And while a lot of people assume it's because we're "not strong enough to say goodbye" or that we're simply "doormats with no self-respect," sometimes it seems more important, more beneficial to our happiness, to just sweep old conflicts under the rug instead.

Because a person may have hurt us at one time, but they probably also brought us joy.

And perhaps more important than what was said or done, is their intent.

Acknowledging that we're hurt means looking at the reasons of why...
And most of the time, we're hurt due to a misunderstanding or due to someone's general humanity, wrapped in regret.

Should we then harbor resentment and cast judgment rather than forgive?

Or is it better to focus on the reasons we allowed them into our lives in the first place and hope that they will be as forgiving of our flaws as we were of theirs.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A greater power

Sometimes, little things happen that make us stop and think before we react (or overreact).

Call it fate, call it coincidence, call it a greater power.

Regardless, of what you call it sometimes I'm simply grateful for it, at all, whatever it may be.

Like when...

1. In an attempt to lose 10lbs before Memorial Day, I decide to not bring lunch to work at all, and instead head to the vending machine STARVING at 1:30 only to find my only dollar is TOO CRUMPLED for the cupcakes I covet. Thus, a diet coke in quarters instead.

2. When I'm about to send a nasty email and Firefox crashes.

3. When I attempt to call people out on their immaturity and drama via telephone, only to realize I left my cell charging at home, safe from my wrath.

4. When heated arguments online end in typos from my "enemy."

5. When I want to cancel plans and it snows for three days so I don't have to make up an excuse.

6. When people I don't like get their haircut, and I see the exact style on "Worst Ways To Wear Your Hair Dot Com."

7. When I want to wear my yoga pants to work, but decide on the khakis instead, only to find that they are covered in coffee stains and thus- I must change before leaving the house (into yoga pants of course).

8. When someone passes me on a double yellow, only for me to later pass THEM pulled over on the side of the road talking to at State Trooper.

9. When I order a salad and the restaurant is out of dressing forcing me to eat Plan B: Burger and fries instead.

10. ______________.

When was the last time your friend Karma came to say hello?