Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Come here often?

Nearly all of my single friends in their late twenties and early thirties are members of some sort of online dating service.

And while I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with online dating, it's a practice I could never get behind successfully while I was single.

I joined at least one site for all of 2 weeks and realized I had little interest in maintaining an account while fighting off advances from men who were decades beyond my "desired age bracket." The few worthy suitors who approached me ended up being evidently crazy -- as I was too busy with real life to catch up with virtual friends.

After hours of discussion with those still in the throes of Cupid's web of dating options, I think I finally realized why it all felt so awkward...

Starting a conversation in person means seeing someone of interest and commentating on what immediately strikes you.

Nice hair, eyes, smile, laugh, shoes, drink choice.

But with online dating, you're immediately armed with too much information about your love interest, from their astrological sign, favorite food, favorite book, movie, and beyond...

With all of the typical newly-dating questions have been answered, what is left to talk about?

It's likely you already know how they prefer their eggs in the morning.
Not because you've had the pleasure of making them after a long night, but because they told you and everyone else who can view their profile.

And so I wonder... how does one begin a conversation successfully in the online dating world where a person exists not as a three dimensional mystery but rather an entry in love's modern encyclopedia?

It seems the "I like your profile, you sound interesting" approach is likely to get old fast...

Consequently you must come up with something original, something thought provoking, something that gives your most flattering photo a leg up.

Because instead of being "the hot one" in a bar full of unemployed alcoholics, you're just one of many on the world wide web... where the competition is as endless as your search parameters.


Double Your Dating said...

I joined at least one site for all of many weeks and realized I had little interest in maintaining an account while fighting off advances from me. So this is nothing new.

Anonymous said...

To add to what you said Chrissie, what is there to talk about via email, especially after one or two go-arounds? It's hard to infuse personality when you're trying to get to know someone. So instead of personality, you get these contrived questions like "Tell me about your family/job/interests". It's hard to sell yourself through email. Plus, there's no courtesy via email. Things could be seemingly going great via email and then all of a sudden communications stop with no explanation. It's frustrating and infurating.

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