I don't think I've had a mushroom in at least three years.
Nope, not one.
Every entree is ordered "without mushrooms" and steaks are served with onions but never the typical squishy counterpart, but not because I don't like mushrooms.
It's because he doesn't.
He doesn't like the thought of them, the look of them, or at worst, the taste of them - at all.
And as someone who has a particular aversion to certain kinds of fish, I can appreciate the idea that some foods just don't do it for us.
But after looking through old photos, I realized my life, when looked at through a particular lens, can be seen as a series of relationships dictating my actions.
Wanting to please, be supportive, remain appreciative, I've let certain aspects of my personality falter, remaining sweet on days when its only venom I seem to taste.
For whatever reason, I fear being "that wife." That wife who bickers and complains about household chores, that wife who rushes from wedding to baby planning, that wife who gives him a hard time about... well... essentially him being him.
And so I wonder why, since I'm so in tune with how HE FEELS, why I don't spend more time being HONEST with how I FEEL.
Because sometimes, dammit, I want mushrooms
4 comments:
Love this blog - tripped on it through another fave.
thanks nadine! there's lots of older content to sift through - enjoy it!
chrissie
I think its all about balance. If you're focused on him and he is focused on him.. then there is no one focused on you...
Give and take are a part of every relationship. If the balance is off there is only a matter of time before things start to fall apart.
One question: Why are you not ordering mushrooms because he doesnt like them?? lol You two may be having together but its your plate!!! lol
Christina
ha! good point anon -
his aversion to mushrooms is significant enough that he finds it difficult to look at them sometimes. (its almost a phobia really...)
and the things we get without mushrooms are usually the kind of things we'd order big portions of, chinese entrees, that sort of thing.
but you have a good point, it's about the give and take equally... which is why i'm ordering the mushrooms when i can, especially in dimly lit restaurants where i can tell him they're just "onions." :)
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