Friday, June 24, 2011


I don't think I've had a mushroom in at least three years.

Nope, not one.

Every entree is ordered "without mushrooms" and steaks are served with onions but never the typical squishy counterpart, but not because I don't like mushrooms.

It's because he doesn't.

He doesn't like the thought of them, the look of them, or at worst, the taste of them - at all.

And as someone who has a particular aversion to certain kinds of fish, I can appreciate the idea that some foods just don't do it for us.

But after looking through old photos, I realized my life, when looked at through a particular lens, can be seen as a series of relationships dictating my actions.

Wanting to please, be supportive, remain appreciative, I've let certain aspects of my personality falter, remaining sweet on days when its only venom I seem to taste.

For whatever reason, I fear being "that wife." That wife who bickers and complains about household chores, that wife who rushes from wedding to baby planning, that wife who gives him a hard time about... well... essentially him being him.

And so I wonder why, since I'm so in tune with how HE FEELS, why I don't spend more time being HONEST with how I FEEL.

Because sometimes, dammit, I want mushrooms


Nadine2point0 said...

Love this blog - tripped on it through another fave.

Chrissie Williams said...

thanks nadine! there's lots of older content to sift through - enjoy it!


Anonymous said...

I think its all about balance. If you're focused on him and he is focused on him.. then there is no one focused on you...

Give and take are a part of every relationship. If the balance is off there is only a matter of time before things start to fall apart.

One question: Why are you not ordering mushrooms because he doesnt like them?? lol You two may be having together but its your plate!!! lol


Chrissie Williams said...

ha! good point anon -

his aversion to mushrooms is significant enough that he finds it difficult to look at them sometimes. (its almost a phobia really...)

and the things we get without mushrooms are usually the kind of things we'd order big portions of, chinese entrees, that sort of thing.

but you have a good point, it's about the give and take equally... which is why i'm ordering the mushrooms when i can, especially in dimly lit restaurants where i can tell him they're just "onions." :)