Comments on The Odd Blog: Who is this whale and where is my girlfriend??

My ex did the "let's go to the gym together" thing...

2009-05-20T20:20:45.309-04:00

My ex did the "let's go to the gym together" thing. I saw through it. She also once said, "Hey, your hips! It's been a while since I've seen those."

We are no longer together.

just plan more activity and healthier eating. ask...

2009-05-15T17:44:00.000-04:00

just plan more activity and healthier eating. ask them if they want to tag along and if they want to try some etc..

making it about you rather than them removes the defensive mechanisms associated.

if that doesnt work you could always roofie their drink then get them lipo

But if you don't do it for yourself, what's the po...

2009-05-15T14:49:00.000-04:00

But if you don't do it for yourself, what's the point?

I've had new agents who against all standards and counsel don't make appointments, don't keep to a meeting schedule, and don't study their materials. They can handle their business how they care to, but the minute they complain about not making any money? I'm free to point out what behaviors and habits ought to change to affect their income to the positive... even so, they have to be the ones to get themselves going, because in the end, it's for their own livelihood. I still get paid whether or not they do.

And so it is with my fat ass. If I start to bitch about my clothes not fitting, if I whine constantly that I feel fat, if my doctor's put me on meds that no 20-something should be taking, if I'm winded climbing stairs or even just from exfoliating, well... then maybe it's a good time to suggest we go hiking, or remind me that I am in fact paying for a gymn membership, or tell me where you're buying your local, organic whole foods.

But if I'm smiling and confident and healthy and don't give a rat's? Neither should anyone else, unless I ask for help.

I have a mirror in my own house, thank you very much, and I've never much understood those people who love to point out the obvious- that I look tired, that I have a giant zit on my face, or that I now have a muffintop...

Ok, fine, but I don't think the other person shoul...

2009-05-15T14:46:00.000-04:00

Ok, fine, but I don't think the other person should be the first one to bring it up.

I'm not talking about dumping the blubber butt. Or...

2009-05-15T14:34:00.000-04:00

I'm not talking about dumping the blubber butt. Or an ultimatum ... nobody responds well to those.

Most people's self esteem is linked to how they look, and I would think it's easier to do something about your weight if you have some support and encouragement.
It's like quitting smoking ... you never do it for yourself.

Well let's be honest, everyone who gets fat knows ...

2009-05-15T14:29:00.000-04:00

Well let's be honest, everyone who gets fat knows full well they are fat. So when you find that oh so delicate way of telling a SO that they are getting fat, what you are really saying is "I want you to lose weight for me."

If someone isn't motivated by the million reasons to lose weight independent of what their SO thinks of them, that is their issue. It shouldn't come down to an implicit threat of losing the relationship.